The curvaceous Scarlett Johansson posed in all photoshop glory for Moet and Chandon campaign ad in boring unflattering dresses. If that champagne wants to sell their over priced beverage they need to put Scarlett in a teeny tiny thong straddling a giant bottle of Moet and Chandon. There you go, that would be the ticket to a hight boost of sales. You can thank me later Moet.

Little Miss Scarlett Johansson, or should I say Mrs? Scarlett is way overrated and I’m tired of her stupid prude pictures. I do think she’s hot but she’s a major tease and I hate being teased. Scarlett keeps her big natural boobs and bangin’ curvaceous figure all to herself, it’s about time that she does a nude pictorial before I start rioting. Don’t test me, I will do it.

Newly brunette Scarlett Johansson showed up for the premiere of her shitty romance comedy He’s Just not That into You sporting a new hair color that truly brings out the sexy in her. I’m digging the darker color, blondes are so over rated. I think she should keep the color from now on and I really think she should look me up for a ‘play date’ with my vagina.

I don’t quite get these pictures of Scarlett Johansson from Cosmopolitan magazine but she showed her full on retard in most of them. Some are hot if you are a pervert with a filthy dirty mind like me. I just can’t help it, I was truly supposed to be born a man, with a 10′ penis. Wishful thinking? oh yea.

Ever since Scarlett Johansson got married she’s been doing a lot of sexy photo spreads in magazines, which is weird because when most woman get married they start looking frumpy as if they give up on life. True story, just look at Eva Longoria-Parker as soon as she got married she gained weight and stopped wearing make-up. In other words, frumpy. Just recently she suffered an upskirt moment and revealed her spanx underwear to hide her cottage cheese ass. It’s just sad.

Scarlett Johansson has the best boobs to motorboat, but since that would be illegal because I doubt she would give me consent to do such an awesome thing, I’ll settle with some boring Allure outtakes from the December 2008 issue. I guess. I’d totally prefer the whole motorboat idea but whatever hoarder! Scarlett is hoarding her boobs all to herself and that’s just rude.

Holy Crap! Scarlett Johansson looks bangin’ on the cover of Wizard magazine with her maximum cleavage busting out. I’m a bit confused as to why she’s on the cover of dweeb central magazine but who cares, she’s flippin’ hot.