The news lately has been full of discussion about Tiger’s mistresses and how whorish they are (and how strangely strong Elin is). Forget that attempted Detroit plane bombing, that’s old news! So the mistress talk got me thinking – what are some other hotties out there willing to put out if you’re rich and famous? (Sadly, I’m neither.)
Ashley Dupre – Banged Governor Elliot Spitzer
Ashley Dupre, aka Kristen when she is working as a call girl, stands out in my mind because she is smoking hot for a white trash whore. Elliot Spitzer, not a very attractive governor, was all up in Ashley and apparently people cared about that. Personally, I don’t trust a politician unless they have a hot piece of ass on their arm.
Rachel Uchitel – Banged Tiger Woods, David Boreanaz, Others???
Granted, all mistresses are kind of slutty, but Rachel takes the cake. Married men that are famous and rich are her specialty. If I had a million dollars and was in Rachel’s club, damn straight I’d give this chick my number. Did you see her tits? It just saddens me that she got the good guys like Tiger and David. I always imagined them sitting around with their model-esque wives, barbecuing and telling tales to their cubs/children. Instead they were ramming Rachel up the bum. Eh. I didn’t believe marital bliss existed anyway!
Angelina Jolie – Banged Billy Bob Thorton & Brad Pitt
Now, Angelina denied any sexual activity with Brad Pitt while he was still with Jennifer Aniston, but we all know that is a lie. If any man came within 10 feet of Angelina Jolie, they would cum. It’s science. With Billy Bob, on the other hand, I think it was pretty out in the open that Angelina was sucking Billy’s D while he was still married. Billy Bob is my idol. He is the goofiest looking MFer and he got to slam this? Unfair! God, look at my of Angelina here. Ridiculous.
Since I don’t give a crap about the holidays and my family is having a Christmas party today, I needed an excuse to miss it. So I sat down this morning and thought – how can I efficiently waste my time and feel guilt free about bailing on my family? It was obvious, really. I need to educate the people on what Tiger was roughing up with his nine iron.
Elin Nordegren is Tiger Woods’ current(?) trophy wife. She was formerly a Swedish bikini model (although she still is Swedish). She was his devoted wife for five years and popped out two tiger cubs for him. You would think that doing that alone would earn her a little respect from the Tiger Has-Wood!
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