It should be illegal for Gabriela to wear anything but skimpy little panties. It’s a crime against humanity and nature for her to cover up her stemmy legs and gorgeous ass. She is, of course, Brazilian. But she is a handicapped model – she stands only at 5’8″. She is one of the only fashion models I know of that is below 5’10″ and this must be traumatic for her. I think she needs me to wrap her in a faux fur blanket, rub baby oil into her supple skin and soothingly stroke her hair in front of a fire. Because that’s what I’m prepared to do. Some people have to make sacrifices, you know?
Viewing all articles related to Lingerie
Gabriela Rabelo Looks Hot in Panties
Thursday, December 17th, 2009 | No Comments
Marisa Miller Primps Backstage, Wears Expensive Tit Cover
Wednesday, December 16th, 2009 | No Comments
So the backstage area of a Victoria’s Secret fashion show might seem to be all perky tits and tight asses, but there is something sinister going on in this group of photos. Marisa Miller is strutting her breasticles around in a million-dollar diamond VS bra and everything seems normal. Except for … what the hell is this creeper doing???
He shows up in most of these backstage photos and my best guess at wtf is going on is this: he and the other members of his creepy baby-faced gang are planning a hostile takeover of this show in order to divest Marisa of her bounty-filled diamond bra. Then we would sell the bra for traveling money and bring Marisa along as our unwilling, but completely violated, sex slave.
…Did I say “we”? I meant “they.” THEY are going to dress Marisa up as my high school girlfriend Gretchen Barker and make her say that she still loves me while I pound her. They.
Rachel Bilson in Panties is All I Want For Xmas
Thursday, December 10th, 2009 | No Comments
So Rachel Bilson is famous because of that O.C. show… the one with some emo tools crying about relationships or whatever. But I can just look past that and focus on Rachel’s amazing body. If this girl had a milkshake, she’d be bringing all kinds of boys to her yard. (Sidenote: I never understood that song.) So if God could do one thing for me this December, it’s giving me Rachel Bilson with a little bow on her head under the tree on Christmas morning. Because Christmas spankings are what the holidays are for, people.
Vida Guerra’s Ass May Take Over the World
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 | No Comments
The key to fixing the economy, world peace, and starvation is Vida Guerra’s ass. It’s so fucking magical and amazing that I’m not sure there is one thing it can’t do. If scientists put her ass at the center of the Large Hadron Collider, they’d make a Higgs boson in a fucking millisecond. (Look that shit up, people. Educate yourself.) I mean, it is probably big enough to create a black hole.
The day I discovered Vida was my awakening. Never again will I look at a normal ass and think “Well jeez, this is as good as it gets!” I will shun every man, woman and child until I find a girl with an ass like Vida’s. Then, oh the ass rapings and pony rides will be had.
Irina Sheik is Way Too Fucking Hot
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 | No Comments
Here’s Irina Sheik showing off the Fall/Winter Collection for Italian clothing label, Intimissimi. The fact that these pictures are aimed at women and not prepubescent boys and perverts like me just doesn’t make any sense. But that’s okay because masturbating to a clothing catalog is something I’ve sworn off ever since my mom walked in on me with the JC Penney Spring 1998 edition. Since that awkward moment, our conversations have been limited to “do you have any extra stamps?” and “Did you wash my clothes yet? No? Well, fucking do it.”
But anyway, back to Irina. If your girlfriend/wife is the same size as Irina, which there’s no way she is since not many girls are 6’3″, 85 pounds, then you should probably buy her some of this lingerie or whatever the fuck it is for Christmas.
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