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Girls Pumping Gas Are Super Hot

Thursday, January 7th, 2010 | No Comments

maingas

Okay so maybe they are super hot girls pumping gas… close enough. But you got to admit that there is something super sexual about these voluptuous chicks sticking a hard nozzle into a dark hole. Yes. I did just sexualize pumping gas. And it’s hot.

Katy Perry Filling Up a Beast

Katy Perry GasThat’s right Katy – you don’t need Russell. You just pump so hard into that beast of yours. If only I was the BP Station and you were that wicked little sports car. But then again, the world doesn’t adhere to my sick gasoline-related fantasies.

Anna Lynn McCord Gives Her Car a Golden Shower

Anna Lynn McCord

….of gasoline. Yeah, yeah, I know she is a dirty tease. Hopefully the next time Anna Lynn decides to shower anyone it won’t be with gas. Or if it is, she better be naked and not wearing that stupid scarf. She doesn’t do anything worthwhile as it is, so unless she starts pumping gas naked…

Olivia Wilde Should Be a Gas Attendant

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Olivia Wilde should always hang out at gas stations. I can forgive her for having her hair pulled back into that stupid little bun. Being around gas stations and automobiles really brings out the curve of her butt. Thank God for ridiculously short black dresses.

The Cast of Valentine’s Day is Ridiculous

Tuesday, January 5th, 2010 | 2 Comments

Valentine's DayValentine’s Day MAY be the biggest chick flick of 2010 and it is going to be release right before V-day (of course)… but I have a confession to make. I think I want to go see it. Not for the romantic comedy-ness of it all, no. I want to see it simply for the ridiculous number of hot women IN the movie. The cast is freaking incredible. A quick roundup of the chicks you’d see:

Anne Hathaway

annehathawayI’ve been watching Anne ever since her Hollywood debut as Disney’s lovable princess in the Princess Diaries. Two comments to protect my manhood: 1.) I was young enough to watch Disney, so quit judging me douchebags. 2.) Tiaras make girls look like strippers and that’s hot. Besides, my Anne Hathaway loyalty hit paydirt when she showed her tits in Brokeback Mountain. I can only hope we’re that lucky in Valentine’s Day.

Jennifer Garner

jennifergarnerJennifer is such an awesome chick – I can totally forgive her for the worst Marvel comic book movie ever (Elektra). As with all of the other girls in this movie, I’m hoping she shows some T & A. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen her naughty bits and it’d make my tube sock very happy if it were to happen in 2010.

Jessica Alba

jessicaalbaI don’t understand why Jessica Alba won’t return my letters. I even included nude pictures of myself making out with a Fantastic Four cutout of her. What else could she possibly want? I would show up on her doorstep with flowers and a rabbit vibrator for her, but apparently these celebrities like to hide where they live. How unfair for Jessica. Someday, my sweet princess will realize how much she is missing. She’ll run to my doorstep, ask my mom if I was home, and come down to my basement to make sweet, sweet Invisible Girl love to me. …oh and she is in this movie, too.

Jessica Alba Gives Tasty Treats

Friday, November 27th, 2009 | No Comments

Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba sure wasn’t happy to see me on Thanksgiving.  And you’d think she would appreciate her stalker once in a while… especially on thanks-fucking-giving! Sigh. The poor lass can’t see the forest for the trees.

Here she is looking scrump-diddily-umptious bringing Thanksgiving treats to her daddy’s house. I have no idea what’s in her box but they look gross to me. Prunes? Dates? Chocolate covered spiders? J. Alb, you’re a celebrity. Quit pretending you’re a domestic goddess. If you walk around with your cleavage poking out like that no one on this earth is going to care what you brought to Thanksgiving, even dear old dad.

Sick? Yes. Get used to it.

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Jessica Alba Takes A Hard Spanking

Monday, November 9th, 2009 | No Comments

Jessica Alba

Now here’s some hot and exciting news. In her new movie “The Killer Inside Me”, Jessica Alba takes a hard spanking on her bare ass and we’ve got pics! It might be worth the price of admission alone to see Ms. Alba taking an ass reddening. I’m not sure what the scene is about, but I’d be more than willing to take Jessica over my knee for a good spanking to keep her in line. All in the name of art of course.

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Celeb Bikini Ass Battle: Katy Perry vs Jessica Alba

Monday, August 3rd, 2009 | 2 Comments

Katy Alba

Ok, this may be a no-brainer but the fact is, Katy Perry has some hardcore fans out there because of her spunky attitude and she does have a pretty killer bikini body but holy shit Jessica Alba looks fucking fantastic. Her tanned toned pre-pregnancy body would make any guys penis explode and turn many straight women craving Alba ass in their mouths. True Story.

Some people dig pasty white girls with plump round butts and some like toned Latina mixed girls with an ass that makes you crave buns in your morning cereal.

Katy Perry Bikini Ass
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Jessica Alba Bikini Ass
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Are Coco's Tits Attractive Or Slutty?

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Uncensored Morning Links:

Kendra Wilkinson’s Big Tits Uncensored in Video – Famous Blow

Misha Barton Tried To Kill Herself – Epic Bull

Taylor Swift’s Nice Ass in Short Shorts – Drunken Stepfather

Ruth Gets Naked + Bonds With Nature – Lax Time

Charlize Theron in Spandex – HQ-Celebrity

Girls Shooting Guns When They Shouldn’t Be – Caveman Circus

Halle Berry Gets Topless in HD – Nudography

I Can See Under Your Skirt – Time Killer

Mischa Barton’s Crazy Ass Shots – Speed Monkey

People Face Planting on Bikes – Holy Taco

Orlando Bloom is An Idiot – Celeb Slam

Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini Basket ball pictures – Moe Jackson

Would You Motor Boat These Titties? – Ehowa

Jessica Alba:Remembering the Good Times

Thursday, May 14th, 2009 | No Comments

Remember Jessica Alba’s sweet ass in Into the Blue? The movie was shit but holy hell it was worth the watch just see her awesome tight body underwater swimming about with her perfect round ass and nipply titties.

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Celeb Battles: Best Fuck Underwater

Saturday, May 2nd, 2009 | 2 Comments

Jessica Alba vs. Megan Fox

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Jessica Alba is Back to Being H-O-T

Monday, April 20th, 2009 | No Comments

JEssica Alba Leno

I’m pleased to inform you fine folks that Jessica Alba is back to being the sexy bitch that she it but now a sexy milf to boot. Finally, I was hoping she wouldn’t go down the same terrible path that Britney Spears has been snail trailing.

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Jessica Alba is Sexy in Arena Mag

Monday, January 26th, 2009 | No Comments

Jessica Alba Arena Mag

Jessica Alba dresses down for Arena magazine looking hotter than ever, it’s actually hard to tell if these are new photos or pre-pregnancy. I’m pretty sure they’re new but hot damn Jessica Alba is such a babe, makes you want to slap your girlfriend or wife in the face for not looking this hot. Just kidding, don’t do that or your penis will be a very lonely member.

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New Jessica Alba Pictures, Finally

Friday, January 16th, 2009 | No Comments

Jessica Alba Zinc

Finally new Jessica Alba masturbation material, something to flick the ol bean too, or jerk off depending on what your packing down there. It’s taken her forever to finally pose post pregnancy other than that Campari calendar but still, we are only human and we need to material every few weeks or so. Just look at Danielle Lloyd, she has a new topless boobtastic spread out every week on NUTS. Learn from her Jessica, learn it well!

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