What could possibly be better than dating a hot celebrity? Well, dating a hot celebrity that is so rich that they could gold plate their dog just for fun. These fine ladies are all in on the gilded-dog action, just because their parents are filthy, filthy rich! So take your pick and try real hard to get them… but I’ll let you in on a little secret. There is no way.

$Amanda Hearst $

Who is this incredibly hot young lady, you ask? This is Amanda Hearst. She is the great-granddaughter of  William Randolph Hearst, a formidable media tycoon. William Hurst’s empire brings in about $5 Billion in revenue every year.  She is so loaded and hot that she only moonlights as a model.  In layman’s terms: when she gets bored rolling around in her swimming pool full of gold coins, she does some modeling.

$ Paris Hilton $

She may not be in Mensa, but she is ridiculously rich. Both on her father’s and her own steam. Most of her days are spent being hot and having a sex tape circulating. Speaking of which, she didn’t mean for the tape to be leaked, but she was able to make lemonade out of extremely dirty lemons. After the incident, she was both financially and publicly better off. This is a girl who acts, models, sings (sort of), and engages in multiple business ventures… for fun. She could sit around all day shaving poodles, but no, she works. Sure, she is kind of an annoying whore but I can overlook that, since she practically pees liquid gold.

$ Ivanka Trump $

Ivanka Trump is a statistical improbability. With a father that ugly, how could she be so hot? She must have gotten a mixture of her mom’s DNA along with a boatload of Donald’s more attractive recessive traits. Lucky for us, this heiress is beyond the realms of mere mortal hotness and she may or may not have nipples made out of gold.

$ Julia Louis-Dreyfus $

That’s right – the woman from the cast of Seinfeld isn’t just a funny actress who is still successful, even after the finale of that television show. She is painfully rich. Her family owns the French Louis-Dreyfus Group. What is that scary sounding company, you ask? It is one of the largest commodities trading firms in the world.  Not only that, but her direct relation (her father) is a billionaire attorney and business executive. And don’t think you can get her to bang you just because she is a little older. She is unfortunately already married to some loser she met in high school.