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New 2009 Shows With Hot Chicks

Thursday, December 31st, 2009 | No Comments

New Shows 2009New Years Eve is a stupid pseudo-holiday that people celebrate. Why? I have no idea. The passing of time happens every year but no, we look to get blasted drunk to celebrate it. Every year. Now this could be my lonely bitterness talking, I don’t know. But instead of focusing on what the hell the lyrics to auld lang syne are, let’s focus on the hot, new T.V. chicks of 2009.

Ashley Benson & Rebecca Romijn – Eastwick

EastwickI’m pretty sure this show is a reboot of the old show the Witches of Eastwick, but I find myself hardly caring. If the cast is a lineup of blonde bombshell skanks like Ashley and Rebecca, the storyline doesn’t really matter. I’ll be watching this crap. I mean, they’re witches. If Buffy The Vampire Slayer taught us anything, it’s that “witch” is a synonym for “lesbian.”

Nina Dobrev & Katerina Graham – The Vampire Diaries

The Vampire DiariesYes, this is the millionth Hollywood inclusion of vampires this year. Am I sick of it, you ask? Hell no. These vampire shows always have skinny little girls playing the love interests of the 160 year-old men. Daddy likes. Nina Dobrev’s throaty voice is enough to make me smile… so don’t judge me for adding this show to my DVR. DON’T JUDGE ME.

Michelle Trachtenberg & Taylor Schilling – Mercy

MercyEvery time I see Michelle Trachtenberg I feel a little guilty for wanting her – she looks fifteen. But then I remember she is legal so then me and Mr. Joe go to Pleasuretown. This new hospital-setting-whatever show looks all right. I might actually watch it if Michelle shows her racks in every episode. I hope that was part of her contract.