There is one thing that I will never be able to tolerate – women who think they are funny. 99.9% of girls think that they’re a riot, but in actuality, I’d much rather be getting curbstomped IN a riot than listen to them prattle on. I will, however, make some exceptions:
#1 Kristen Wiig
Not only is Kristen Wiig “piss my pants then puke” hilarious, but she is also wicked hot. I mean, ridiculously hot. When a girl is funny (usually a statistical improbability) it multiplies how hot she is by like 4,000. That makes her hotter than Mother Theresa.
I first discovered Kristen Wiig on Saturday Night Live as her overly-competitive character Penelope. I now watch her every Saturday night and I am obsessed with her to the point of what is legally known as stalking. I love you Kristen. Marry me and carry my seed.
#2 Tina Fey
On top of Tina Fey being uber hot, she is also an awesome television/comedy writer and has a super cool scar on her face. She also appeared on SNL, true, but what you didn’t know was that she was the first female head-fucking-writer for Saturday Night Live. And she created and stars in the hit TV series, 30 Rock. And she does a scary-good Sarah Palin impersonation. Jesus, Tina, you make even a successful, strapping, young man such as myself look like a pile of turds.
Oh and I see you Tina Fey. Bending over in that scandalously ridiculous outfit. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing to me and my manhood.
#3 Sarah Silverman
Sarah Silverman is one damn fine piece of Jewish ass. She is hot, edgy and it seems that she loves to show some side boobage (see picture above). I’m not sure when I first fell in love with Sarah, but I knew our love was real when I saw her “I’m Fucking Matt Damon” music video. Who wouldn’t love a girl who publicly announces that she is fucking Matt Damon (to her current boyfriend no less). She’s got some balls.
Note: I’m not really into girls with balls. That was 80% metaphorical.
Your New Secret Girlfriend has Arrived
World's Hottest Women ?
Why I Watched The Golden Globes
Why College Beach Volleyball Will Rule
What If Celebrities Were Fat
Topless Pics of Imogen Thomas and More
Tiger Woods’ POA Hit The Beach
The Girls Of Front Magazine
