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The Best Celebrity Cleavage

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009 | No Comments

bestcleavOh Hollywood starlets… how do you do the voodoo that you do? Wait, I know how! You all have extremely mouthwatering, perky tits on your chests. If anyone wants to get my attention all they need to do is shove some tits in my face and I’m theirs! I would ignore a kitten staked to the ground that was fully engulfed in fire if I had a good pair of knockers to ogle.

Scarlett Johansson

scarlettjohanssonScarbear wins this competition hands down – or tits out! There is nothing more I want for Christmas than to give her sweater puppies a pet. If it wasn’t for this damned restraining order!!! Fact: Ryan Reynolds is the luckiest man alive.

Check out more Scarlett Johansson cleavage here!

Kim Kardashian

kimkardashianThis post wouldn’t be complete without a tit-tastic shout out to the attention monger, Kim Kardashian. I feel kind of bad for her monster sister and then the other one… but hell who cares. We weren’t all created equal. Kim’s chest mountains confirm the hell outta that.

Click here for more pictures of Kim Kardashian!

Salma Hayek

salmahayekCougars are definitely not exempt from this list. Salma Hayek may still have one of the best racks to date. During an interview she once said that she blessed her tits with holy water when she was younger. YOU HEAR THAT LADIES? There is officially no excuse for you to be flat if God is just hanging out tits like candy.

See more sexy pictures of Salma here!

Jessica Alba Gives Tasty Treats

Friday, November 27th, 2009 | No Comments

Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba sure wasn’t happy to see me on Thanksgiving.  And you’d think she would appreciate her stalker once in a while… especially on thanks-fucking-giving! Sigh. The poor lass can’t see the forest for the trees.

Here she is looking scrump-diddily-umptious bringing Thanksgiving treats to her daddy’s house. I have no idea what’s in her box but they look gross to me. Prunes? Dates? Chocolate covered spiders? J. Alb, you’re a celebrity. Quit pretending you’re a domestic goddess. If you walk around with your cleavage poking out like that no one on this earth is going to care what you brought to Thanksgiving, even dear old dad.

Sick? Yes. Get used to it.

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