Viewing all articles related to Ass

Nicole “Coco” Austin Looks Fit

Thursday, December 17th, 2009 | No Comments

CocoI don’t know about you but if a girl looks like she could kill me with her ass, then that is a definite plus. I’m actually a little frightened by the size of Coco’s rotund bottom. What the hell is she feeding that thing? Small children? Kim Kardashian Pedigree Ass Chow? Anyway, I’m definitely not complaining but… damn! Pretty soon NASA is going to announce that this rump has the gravitational pull of a small black hole.

See more ass-tastic pictures of Nicole here.

Brooke Burns Shows Us Her Ass

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009 | No Comments

asscrack16 days until Christmas and Brooke Burns is giving us a present already! Awww, she shouldn’t have. After all, I would have settled for some astounding fellatio. I do appreciate her thoughtfulness. She thought of me while she put up her Christmas tree with some douche that she ended up dry humping on the lawn. Now that’s what the holidays are all about.

TAGS: ,

Vida Guerra’s Ass May Take Over the World

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 | No Comments

The key to fixing the economy, world peace, and starvation is Vida Guerra’s ass. It’s so fucking magical and amazing that I’m not sure there is one thing it can’t do. If scientists put her ass at the center of the Large Hadron Collider, they’d make a Higgs boson in a fucking millisecond. (Look that shit up, people. Educate yourself.) I mean, it is probably big enough to create a black hole.

The day I discovered Vida was my awakening. Never again will I look at a normal ass and think “Well jeez, this is as good as it gets!” I will shun every man, woman and child until I find a girl with an ass like Vida’s. Then, oh the ass rapings and pony rides will be had.

Good Morning Rihanna!

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009 | No Comments

4 out of 5 doctors agree that the best way to start your day is with a big helping of tight Rihanna ass. Rihanna, God love her, wanted to help us out. She performed in a super short white blazer and pantyhose on Good Morning America, displaying her tight little abused ass. I wish Barack Obama would mandate that all hot chicks dress in inappropriately short jackets and pantyhose every day. (Presidents can do that right?)

On a related note – all of Rihanna’s minions are dressed in peacoats, sweaters and gloves. How the H is Rihanna not freezing her womanly bits off during freezing New York fall weather? My theory is that she is a succubus.

TAGS: ,