Can someone tell Angelina Jolie to give my Granny back her bingo gown? I mean damn, that dress is retarded ugly but at least Angie had the decency to show a little leg because if she hadn’t, I probably wouldn’t post any pictures from the 14th Annual Critics Snob Awards on the site. Who am I kidding? It’s Angelina Jolie, I’d post images of her week old vomit crust if it was available on the internets.

Did she ever stop being hot? I don’t think so. Angelina Jolie appeared in a short dress exposing her fine legs for the Kung Fu Panda DVD release looking amazing for a woman who birthed twin babies 4 months ago. The Cyborg was all smiles teasing the world with her perfect body and flawless face, in hopes to ruin every woman’s self esteem that ever got pregnant, fat and ruined their figure to never fit in a size 2 ever again. That’s bitch.

Angelina Jolie is one every magazine cover lately across the world with her MILf tits showing and her big juicy red lips you want to sink your teeth in. I don’t blame everyone going nuts over this bitch, she’s hot and not even just delivering twin babies 4 months ago ruined her hotness but it’s not because she’s lucky. She’s just not human. A cyborg if you will. Probably built in China.

Angelina Jolie is like the definition of the word MILF, everyone in the world wants to give her the shocker. Everyone. If I go outside right now and ask random people off the street “Would you like to give Angelina Jolie one in the stink and two in the pink?” not one person would say no. Unless they are an amputee and cannot access fingers. Other than that guy, she’s basically the master MILF.

The new issue of W magazine has finally been released and is shows much more than just a breast feeding Angelina Jolie, it shows her lovely boobs in a see through shirt and of course her perfect ass. Compliments to her partner Brad Pitt’s new artsy fartsy photography we all get to see what a perfect MILF boobs would look like. Delicious, and thank you Brad.

Everybody is flipping out that Angelina Jolie detached herself from the milking machine of her dungeon of babies and made it to the premiere of her new movie Changeling with her “partner” Brad Pitt. He’s more like a worker ant providing his queen with sperm to produce a good looking army for the end of times in 2025. True Story.

Oh you see that gibberish tattoo on her arm, well those are the coordinates of where the war of the beautifuls will occur. Just kidding, it’s actually the coordinates of where her kids were born. Now that’s a fact. Probably the only fact in this post.

Angelina Jolie finally comes out to show us what a cyborg looks like after giving birth to twin babies and spawning about 10 others. She’s like a Maguay that shouldn’t be fed after midnight or she’ll start reproducing left and right.

Brad Pitt needs to put a deadbolt on the fridge and the pool covered. Regardless, the bitch is a robot or something, after all those kids she still looks prefect. That shit ain’t human.