It’s a shame that not every hot-as-fuck girl knows how to use the gifts God gave her… but lucky for us there are some hardcore skanks in the world. Who are they, you ask? Who is hell bent on sucking dick and taking a load on the face and filming it so we ALL can see? Well!

Tila Tequila

Ask me what is Tila Tequila is like. Ask me what her take is on politics, the economy, global warming, or a making a blanket out of live puppies. I’ll tell you this: I don’t have a fucking clue. Want to know why? Tila Tequila is an online-meme slut and the only thing good about her are her tits, ass and apparent cock sucking skills. As much as I am an Asian fetishist, I can’t stand looking at her stupid face because I just know she is fucking retarded. But thank goodness for women – men don’t really care how mind numbingly dumb or insane you are if you have a hot ass body and film yourself fucking. DING DING DING! We have a winner with Ms. Tequila.

See more pictures of slutty Tila here!

Keeley Hazell

Now if you think I was a little rude to T squared previously, you’re right. I’m not a fan of anything but her body. BUT. Keeley Hazell on the other hand… she is a goddess. British? Check. Hot? Check. Sorta talented?  Check. She has the hot girl trifecta AND she can be seen fucking some cock on film. Oh God bless leaked sex tapes and jerks like me who spread that shit on the Internet. Love ya Keeley (aka. The Suckinator.)

Drool over more pictures of Keeley Hazell here!

Paris Hilton

Some may protest that Paris is a “favorite” sex tape skank. True, her reality show with Dog-Face Richie was annoying as hell, but let’s try to look past that. She starred in two of my all time favorite movies: Repo! The Genetic Opera and ONE NIGHT IN PARIS. You gotta give it to her, she is clever. Or you have to give her mom credit, knowing that her daughter would be a dirty f’n whore in the future and named her accordingly, just so she could title a particularly naughty sex film after herself.

And hey, I’d totally hit it. As long as I could wear 36 condoms and dip my dick in antibiotics beforehand.

Clicky! More picture of Paris Hilton here!

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian has got to be the hottest, sluttiest and most entrepreneurial sex tape whore I’ve ever seen. How did she make it to stardom? By releasing a tape of her blowing a huge black dick. I can’t find a girlfriend or even a hooker who will suck my pasty 4-inch penis and there are girls like Kim out there sucking enormous wangs just for pleasure? WHY was I cursed like this?

I’m not sure what Kim K does aside from feed her enormous ass, go shopping and avoid being eaten by her monster of a sister… but I still gotta respect a hardcore slut like her.

See more of Kim’s huge ass here!

Carmen Electra

PSYYYYYYCCCHHHHHEEEE! Just kidding. That bitch totally tricked the world into thinking we’d see her suck some cock or at least go down on a chick. But no. She was promoting some Dutch men’s fashion line. Holland sucks. Carmen betrayed us.

You know what Carmen? The deepest circle of hell is reserved for traitors. You deserve what you get for getting my hopes up. :(

Check out more pictures of stupid Carmen here.

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