Ah, 2009. What a great year. We’ve had some laughs, especially over that Taylor Swift getting her mic jacked at the VMAs. I bet someone had to tap that ass all night just to cheer her up, poor thing. There were more controversies and scandals than just that, though. Take a gander at all of the scandals of 2009!

Meghan McCain Shows Her Knockers

Now if Meghan McCain and her rack ran for President in 2008, she would have won. This girl has an amazing rack. I’m so glad that she did her patriotic duty and showed them off to the world via the Internet. Isn’t it a wonderful tool, Meg? I’m sure your dad would be proud.

Erin Andrews and Her Unintentional Peep Show

Erin Andrews, the over the top hottest sports reporter, apparently has a bad case of “leaves the hotel door open.” This past year a nude video of her circulated through cyberspace. Apparently this video of her walking around her hotel room naked wasn’t supposed to be released – or filmed for that matter. The responsible party is a peeping Tom (or Tina, just to be fair). But thanks to this scandal, I had to reformat my computer. The Erin Andrews video link was a common source of “HAHA SCREW YOU” viruses

Miss California Carrie Prejean Gets Dirty

Apparently Miss California’s version of Christian values includes nudity and fingering…. wow. Maybe I should go back to church, because that sounds freaking awesome. Carrie claimed that the video that surfaced wasn’t a sex tape because she was by herself. Uh-huh. So apparently fingering yourself in front of a camera is not sex. Don’t get discouraged, Carrie. Even though you fingered yourself for the general public and you have semi topless pictures floating around all over the Internet… you’re still a true blue Christian. Wanna ****?

Miley Cyrus Pole Dances Like a Dirty Whore

This year Miley pole danced like a skank during one of her performances and this caused quite a ruckus. For a bitty girl she sure loves people looking at her junk. In her defense, her dad said it was an art form. Okay, Billy Ray. You probably consider incestuous blowjobs an art form, too.

Taylor Swift Gets Hijacked by Kanye

When Taylor Swift won the best music video award for something (only God knows what, because I don’t listen to that horrible music) Kanye decided that was the last straw. So he pounced on Taylor and took away her mic. He then ranted, not psychotically or anything, about how Beyonce’s video was clearly the best. Taylor was pretty upset afterward, but don’t you fret good people. A nice night of wild, doggy-style sex from me sure cheered her up.

Rihanna Gets the Hell Beat Out of Her

Now I don’t really care for Rihanna, because I think she is a she-dude waiting to be out of the closet, but I do feel bad for her/him. That asshole Chris Brown made sweet, sweet love to her face with his fist. That just isn’t right. If you want to punish some broad all you need to do is handcuff her to the bed and have a good night. I mean, DUH, Chris.

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