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Sexy Telulah Riley in her Bra and Panties, Time to get Excited

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010 | No Comments

I know you’re probably thinking who the fuck is Telulah Riley (this is obviously before you’ve taken a look at the photos that I’ve provided of Telulah Riley, because after taking a peak you won’t care who she is). Telulah Riley is another one of those extremely, sexy, hot, beautiful, blow your mind foreign hotties, I love finding photos of relatively unknown beauties and giving my fellow Americans a taste of what the world has to offer! Telulah Riley is actually a British actress, who most recently sexed up the movie Pirate Radio. Just take one look at these photos of Telulah Riley in Esquire UK where she’s in nothing more than her bra and panties, you’ll know why I was excited to share these photos. If you thought that Telulah Riley’s physical perfection is her best contribution to the world, then you thought wrong. Because Telulah Riley, like her fellow Brit Alice Eve also hit the genetic lottery, not only is she strikingly gorgeous but she’s also got a brain, a working one. Believe it or not Telulah Riley in addition to giving dudes hard on’s all over the world is also a novelist and quantum physicist! I guess those silly British folk really know how to crank out smart and beautiful women, because Telulah Riley and Alice Eve are 2 of only 17 that are in existence. My goal is to find all 17 of these smart and beautiful women, they should get together and form some sort of club, give them a year and they’ll be running this bitch.

Paris Hilton haz boobs

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010 | 1 Comment

Paris Hilton is like a fat bitch in a miniskirt, I just don’t get it. I don’t get how Paris Hilton has managed to stay ‘famous’ for as long as she has. I don’t get why she’s with a guy, Doug Reinhardt who is unemployed and a renter. But what really baffles me about Paris Hilton is how she’s sometimes as flat as the stock market on a Friday afternoon but other times she’s got huge knockers. Take these recent Paris Hilton photos for example, she actually has some decent cleavage going, is there some kind of magical heiress push up (wayyyy up) bra that poor girls don’t know about? Because if such a bra exists it would save a lot of girls the trouble and extra interest accumulated from the boob jobs that they are desperate enough to finance. It would also save some serious coin for all the dumb suckers who buy chicks tits. So Paris Hilton maybe you can do one good deed in your life and let all the flat chicks out there know your cleavage trick. It would be utterly cruel not to share.

TAGS: Paris Hilton

Alessandra Ambrosio, Yup Still Hot

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010 | 1 Comment

Some women need to bring sexy back, but for Alessandra Ambrosio sexy never left and if she can still be sexy after having a baby then chances are Alessandra Ambrosio will be forever sexy, thank you god. Alessandra Ambrosio somehow manages to look hot, sexy, beautiful, and gorgeous in every single photo even when she’s fully clothed, and her new shoot with Elle France is no exception. Yes I know what you’re probably thinking, Elle France is way too conservative to feature a topless, showing her ass, showing some nipple, wearing see through tops Alessandra Ambrosio, and though Elle Magazine sucks for not giving us what we really want at least those pretentious, cheese eating French folk were nice enough to feature a foreigner as sexy as Alessandra Ambrosio in their magazine. Alessandra Ambrosio still looks smokin in Elle wait a minute, hold up there ARE photos of her in a see through top, showing some nip! Isn’t it awesome when you think that something good isn’t gonna happen but then it unexpectedly happens? You just got that good tingly feeling didn’t you?

TAGS: Alessandra Ambrosio

Heidi Klum Topless Pictures

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010 | No Comments

Sure Heidi Klum has popped out a couple kids and is married to some dude who named himself after a marine mammal but god damn Heidi Klum still does tits like its nobody business. Heidi Klum is a true Supermodel, because not only does she have Super fantastic tits but even after all these years she still loves to get naked for the camera, what a champ! Heidi Klum’s still got it, because judging by these topless photos from the April issue of Allure magazine, Heidi Klum can still Supermodel the shit out of all those other Supermodels, does she look sexy as hell or does she look sexy as hell? God that husband of hers, Seal or Dolphin or whatever the fuckers name is, is one lucky bastard, imagine getting to play with Heidi Klum’s tits anytime you want! He has access to her boobs the same way most dudes have access to an Xbox all day everyday baby. Anyways here are some photos of Heidi Klums tits covered in whipped cream and doing other stuff, enjoy, I know I did.

TAGS: Heidi Klum

WTF Jessie James Cheated on Sandra Bullock with some Ditch Pig

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010 | 2 Comments

There have been rumors that Oscar winner, Sandra Bullock’s husband, Jesse James cheated on her. Sadly Sandra has essentially confirmed those rumors by pulling out of the UK premiere of The Blind Side, due to “unforeseen circumstances” a premiere that Warner Brothers has now decided to cancel. Speculation of Jessie James’s affair was fueled by the cancellation, because it coincides with unconfirmed reports by the US media of Sandra Bullock’s marriage woes. Rumors of Jessie James being a complete dirt bag behind his wife’s back were first reported by InTouch Magazine, which could mean and I hope for Sandra Bullock’s sake does mean that the claims are made up, nevertheless here is what InTouch is reporting:

While Jesse has had an 11-month affair, including five weeks of sex, with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, she believed he and Sandra were no longer together. “I would never have hooked up with him if I thought he was a married man,” Michelle tells In Touch in an exclusive interview. “He gave me the impression they were separated.” For weeks, while Sandra was in Atlanta shooting The Blind Side, Michelle had sex at least once a week with the Monster Garage star. Far from a one-night stand, his relationship with Michelle was intimate and highly charged. Michelle even says she called Jesse, who didn’t wear underwear or condoms, by a special pet name, Vanilla Gorilla, because he was so “well-endowed.”

The only funny part about this whole thing is the fact that this whore called Jessie James ‘Vanilla Gorilla’ HAHA aren’t sex names suppose to be sexy? Vanilla Gorilla sounds like a new Dunkaroo flavor, this bitch must be retarded, by the looks of her she’s definitely some form of ‘special’. I feel bad for Sandra Bullock, because not only is she my favorite actress and still a dime, but she seems like a good person because she adopts three legged dogs and such. Things actually get worse for Sandra Bullock because her ‘husbands’ apparent mistress looks like a dirty graffiti wall, that has been spray painted (not by paint), and pissed on by various random dirty dudes. Poor Sandra Bullock! She really needs to get tested because that swamp thing that Jessie James stuck his Gorilla stick into without protection looks dirty as sin and who the fuck gets a huge tattoo across their huge forehead/dome? Apparently atavistic whores who sleep with married men. Geez I guess Sandra Bullock really got ‘blindsided’ by her husband’s dirt bag tendencies.

Check out topless pictures of Michelle bombshell and many more below

TAGS: Jessie James, michelle bombshell, Sandra Bullock

Whitney Port Bikini Pictures

Friday, March 12th, 2010 | No Comments

Whitney Port is another one of those girls who gets paid by MTV to have her own ‘reality’ show (well a show that creates a ‘reality’ that appeals to retards who watch these shows, like my girlfriend for example). Apparently Whitney Port is just as boring on her fake reality show as she is in a bikini, come on Whitney Port could you just please try a little harder? Like maybe put on a little make-up so your face isn’t a different color then the rest of your pasty body, a mystic tan would work too. Also please find a better bikini, because the one you’re wearing is pretty unflattering. Or maybe give Audrina a call and get the number of her plastic surgeon, fake boobs might do the job (I swear a pair of fake boobs can sometimes turn a zero into a hero and I stress the sometimes because beat face, big beak with boob job is fuckin stupid, I hate it when ugly girls fix their boobs before their faces). Despite the bad bikini, discolored face and not spectacular boobs, I still think Whitney Port has some babe potential, her legs do go on for days and she had long hair. Whitney Port, I hope the next time I see you in a bikini I get blown away! You can do it!

TAGS: Whitney Port

Dina Lohan Stupid Bitch gave Birth to another Stupid Bitch

Friday, March 12th, 2010 | No Comments

So the crazy, stupid, compulsive lying, self centered apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. We only need to look as far as Lindsay Lohan’s mom, Dina ‘the enabler’ Lohan to begin to understand why Lindsay Lohan is such a sloppy mess. I’m really starting to truly believe that both Dina and Lindsay Lohan are suffering from cognitive impairment that is a manifestation of the brain damage that both sustained from all the years of drug and alcohol abuse. Dina should be worried about her out of control brat of a daughter looking like a beat up Coach tote/ human drug garbage disposal but instead she’s decided to dedicate her concern toward an E Trade commercial that features a milk-a-holic baby named ‘Lindsay’. Dina Lohan who looks like an old catcher’s mitt still loves the attention and takes every opportunity she can get to exploit her daughter, so naturally she had to open her trap on that insanely retarded 100 million dollar lawsuit that Lindsay filed against E Trade. In an interview with The New York Post Dina Lohan exemplifies her and Lindsay’s utter stupidity:

(After Lindsay saw the ad) “She said, ‘Mommy, help me. This is wrong. How can they do this?’ ” Dina Lohan said of a tearful phone call with her 23-year-old daughter.
“They’re little babies doing this, mocking another child who’s just trying to survive Hollywood, basically,” Dina Lohan said.

Dina goes on to say:

“I’m just basically glad I took a stand. I’m not going to let them do this to us anymore,” Dina Lohan said of the “horrible” and “mean” ad.

Oh no there are babies mocking my 23 year old child, who’s addicted to pretty much everything, been to rehab unsuccessfully for the millionth time, is a slut and also been to jail, what a horrible and mean ad. Hey Dina Lohan you know what’s really horrible and mean? Your parenting skills! WOW! Just the fact that Lindsay Lohan thinks the ad is about her speaks volumes! Both Dina and Lindsay need to get a life and fuckin get over their washed out, washed up selves. I hope E Trade bitch slaps both of them and keeps cranking out those awesome baby commercials.

TAGS: Lindsay Lohan

Screw the iPad and give me some of that Abigail Clancy

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 | No Comments

You can always leave it to the Italians to do things that don’t make sense (those idiots from the Jersey Shore are indisputable proof) like putting the incredibly beautiful Abigail Clancy on the cover of an issue of Italian technology that is trying to promote that really big iphone also known as the iPad. In my opinion the iPad is just apple’s way of whoring out a phone that only the infantile minded use, all the smart cool people use blackberry’s. The iPad is just stupid because why the fuck would anyone wanna carry around a giant iphone? You can’t even put that thing in your pocket, which means you have to lug it around all day like the nerd that you are. My point in this whole thing is that even though those I-talians are using uber hot Abigail Clancy to promote the ipad, ya a half naked Abigail Clancy won’t take attention off a dumb ass piece of technology, I’m not complaining because god damn do I ever love looking at Abigail Clancy and fortunately for me (and all of you) Italian technology decided to not make sense and provide pages and pages of Abigail Clancy in her underwear to promote the ipad.

TAGS: Abigail Clancy

Kourtney Kardashian has kid with a STD

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010 | No Comments

Even though I think all those Kardashian sisters are useless, famous for nothing, unattractive idiots, this story is just too hilarious not to post. So apparently according to In Touch Weekly (hence the apparently) Kourtney Kardashian, the eldest Kardashian sister, who just had a baby with a non professional black athlete, Scott Disick, douche master was nicknamed ‘STD’ and ‘Number one Scum’ in high school. STD for those of you who don’t know and I can’t imagine who wouldn’t know, stands for sexually transmitted disease. In Touch Weekly who’s source for this story was a dude by the name of Jason Green reports:

Long before he gained fame on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Scott was known as a hard partier, a serial cheater and, as one high school acquaintance puts it, “a tool.” And as more and more information surfaces about Scott’s shady past, Kourtney wonders how long she’ll be able to put up with him. Jason Green, one of Scott’s former classmates from Long Island, N.Y.’s Ross School, agrees that Scott was bad news in high school. “There were just as many rumors about him then as there are now,” Jason tells In Touch. “Scott had a couple of nicknames in high school. One was Number One Scum, and the other was STD.”

A lot of guys might be embarrassed to have the initials “STD,” but Scott thought they enhanced his reputation as a ladies’ man! According to Jason, Scott was so proud to have the same initials as “sexually transmitted disease” that “he wore dog tags with ‘STD’ printed on them.”

Holy Fuckin hell, am I right or am I right? Kourtney Kardashian proves that stupidity is a dominant Kardashian trait, as if we didn’t already know that Kardashian were stupid when we saw Kim Kardashian on tape allowing that turd Ray-J to…well you know. But back to Kourtney, who not only got knocked up by Mr. ‘STD’ Scott Disick who just oozes doucheness, but the fact that she got knocked up by him means that she’s now Mrs. STD. Oh that and the fact that she decided to procreative with this dude is just…wow! Kourtney Kardashian, smartest person alive!

TAGS: Kourtney Kardashian

Cheryl Cole and Soccer Star husband Split (Athlete cheated, gasp)

Thursday, March 4th, 2010 | No Comments

British Bombshell Cheryl Cole was spotted leaving a recording studio in Santa Monica, CA over the weekend. Cole had flown to the United States after several whores came forward revealing that they had sexy time, including romps at the four seasons and sex text with Cole’s footballer husband, Ashley Cole. It had been speculation that the Girls Aloud singer sent her sleazy husband a text telling him that he’s been axed, oh the irony, that’s some ice box shit! Today a rep for Cole has confirmed via twitter nonetheless that the break up is official and Cheryl is calling it quits with the douche nozzle footballer. Cole’s rep released this statement:

“Cheryl Cole is separating from her husband Ashley Cole. Cheryl asks the media to respect her privacy during this difficult time. We have no further comment to make.”

Cheryl Cole ain’t taking no shit from no man, well only because her hotness gives her options unlike the majority of at best solid 4 and 5 looking women. Cheryl Cole, on to the next cheating athlete

TAGS: Cheryl Cole

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