It might be true that I spend a little too much time looking up pictures of tits in my free time. And while I’m at work. And while my bitch girlfriend is talking to me, complaining about shopping or some shit. So in honor of my (un)healthy obsession, I wanted to pay tribute to those women whose job is all about staying skinny, having a great rack and displaying their tight ass. God bless the Victoria’s Secret Angels!

Alessandra Ambrosio

Any model worth her salt tends to be from Brazil, it seems. And Alessandra is certainly worth a whole bunch of my salt.  In 2008, she was voted #2 in the AskMen.com’s Top 99 Women. Not only is she beautiful, but she is also cool as fuck; Alessandra has been in Casion Royale and Entourage. How can you top that?

More photos of the sexy Alessandra here!

Miranda Kerr

This saucy minx recently displayed her jiggly little ass at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. I wasn’t quite sure who she was before that, but seeing her fucking gorgeous body made me not care of my former ignorance.  Seeing that she is an Aussie she is most likely fucking cool as hell, too. I mean, she probably hangs out with koala bears and fights kangaroos and shit.

See more naughty Miranda Kerr here!

Marisa Miller

Marisa was voted to be THE hottest babe by Maxim, and how could I possibly disagree? Marisa is a blond bombshell and is totally begging for me to spank her. Well, maybe not, but that’s what I’m going to tell my defense attorney when I get charged with battery and rape. Cool factoid about Marisa: she has been discovered multiple times by agents just by sitting around doing FUCKING NOTHING. That’s how hot this girl is. She gets famous and she doesn’t even try.

Check out the full Marisa Miller gallery!

Adriana Lima

Okay, this one is a big “duh.” Adriana Lima is hot and also reminds me of lima beans. So in my book she is doubly fucking awesome. Here is yet another Brazilian that is dominating the fashion industry and penises worldwide. She was modeling since her early teens and she has just been getting more bangable as years go by. Bravo, Adriana. Bravo.

See more pictures of Adriana Lima here!

Gisele Bundchen

Brazil FTW again. Gisele is not only one of the hottest models to ever grace the runway but also the richest. Forbes magazine, in 2004, named her the richest supermodel of all time.

…You know what G? FUCK YOU. Beautiful and rich and would even give your trash to a guy like me? Are you trying to make my slice my wrists?

Check out more photos of Gisele in her gallery!

Izabel Goulart

Ok, I admit. I’m a chauvinist. I don’t even have to see Izabel’s face. She isn’t a person to me – she is a world class ass. I would make an ass sculpture based on her ass, make into a trophy and then present her own ass-trophy to her FOR her awesomely fuckable ass. It’s so good I can’t even think straight and I’m forced to babble about asses for about 4 lines. (Oh and you guessed it, she is Brazilian, too.)

Feast your eyes on more pictures of Izabel here!

Laetitia Casta

Oh Laetitia. You confuse me. Are you just a Victoria’s Secret Angel? Or are you an actress? Or do you make raunchy porn? I just don’t know and the internet  is giving me sketchy results. But you know what? I’d love you fucking more if you did all three. Laetitia is beautiful and her body is tight and I’d do naughty, dirty, illegal things to it.

She is also apparently a nice, stupid person. According to imdb, she “once invited a homeless man for dinner in her hotel while in London.” Maybe I should skulk around her place, not shower, and then she’d let me in to eat her? I mean eat with her. At dinner
…. no, I totally meant eat her.

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